I arrived home on Sunday thinking maybe, just maybe I can do this mothering thing after-all. I so often feel weighed down by the many things I need to teach my girls (and protect them from!!) throughout their formative years. I regularly find myself preparing little conversations in my head that I don't expect will occur for several years. Once or twice I have written them down in their journals, but generally, those things I am fearing most one day, will be overtaken by other such fancies the next.
Don't get me wrong, I am not a 'worrier', but I do have a very firm idea of certain characteristics that I want my girls to develop.
For NOW, as my girls are still only babies, what they need most is my TIME. It comes down to one thing, just one little tiny thing... SELFISHNESS. (But then, doesn't everything??)
There is a season for all things, and my time will come. For now, my time belongs to others. I am trying to suppress that little 'voice' that tells ME all the things I need to do for ME to make ME happy. Knowing myself as only I do, selfishness will NOT make me happy. Losing myself in the service of those I love; will!
It is soooo much easier said than done. Changing comes one tiny decision at a time...
Handle with Care
10 years ago
So true Neets! You will never look back on your life with young kids and think "I spent too much time with them" :) and I agree that giving service to the (little :)people we love the MOST will bring us more happiness than things we do for ourselves! I also think though, that as Mothers we should still do things that are for us....things that nurture and help us develop as individuals, not in a selfish way AT ALL, but in a balanced (depending on the time and season of our lives :) kinda way!
ReplyDeleteIn "the motherhood book" (do u still have it??) there is a chapter that talks just about this - I love it and love what the author had to say about it - you should check it out!!
I loved having you guys come and stay (yay) wish we were closer :( You are such a good mum Neets!! Your girls are lucky to have you!!
Oh Anita you are so profound, I am so proud of the Mother/Woman you have become. We love your girls...just one little thought/memory of them every now and then brings a smile to our faces. Love to you all "Baker Bunch" :)
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